How To Give And Receive Compliments Assertively Worksheet Template Page 7


Think of the exact words you want to use before you give the compliment. It will
make you feel more confident and you’ll be less likely to fumble around for words.
Be specific about the compliment. “That necklace looks really good on you” makes a
bigger impact compared to “you look really good today”. The more specific the
better, it makes the person feel like you have really noticed them.
Mean what you say. People can tell the difference between sincerity and phoniness.
Don’t overdo it. A couple of sentences will do. (“You did a good job at …” or “You
really did well in ….”)
Smile and be enthusiastic when you give compliments. It makes the other person feel
that you really mean it.
 Be appropriate: Consider the setting and your relationship with the person.
Commenting on a colleague's new hair colour is fine, but mentioning it to your boss
could be stepping out of bounds.
Ask a question with your compliment. If you want to use the compliment as a
conversational starter, ask a question about the subject of your compliment; “that
necklace looks really good on you. Where did you find it?”
Think about a recent example when you admired something about someone (e.g., their
clothing, the work they handed in, a generous act they did) and when you did NOT
compliment them. What could you have said to this person? Why didn’t you give them a
compliment? Spend a moment and write down some thoughts. And then think about what
you could have said to them.
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Module 9: How to Give and Receive Compliments Assertively
Page 7
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