Offender Apologies (Page 3 of 5) in pdf

Would you be angry or upset? Why?

Would you feel afraid? Why?

Would you feel any sense of Aloss@ because of what happened? Why?

Would you maybe think that Aall kids/young people are >bad=@ because of what one

kid/young person did?

What would you want to happen? (Utilize any victim impact statement or PSI information

to help the youthful offender understand how the victim feels)

Explain the victim

s perspective ( in general, here are some points):

They don=t expect bad things to happen to them because they try to live good lives.

They didn=t ask to be victimized, and they are never to blame for what happened.

They may feel shock, anger, distress, and fear.

They may have other things going on in their lives that are stressful, and this is another bad

thing to add to their problems.

They may now have a bad attitude toward youth in general because of what you did to

them (this is a really hard thing for adults to deal with, because they tend to think kids are

good and won=t intentionally hurt them).

If the victim has children, the children may be frightened and have issues about trust with

their peers.

Explain that some victims are so upset that they don

t even want an apology letter:

The offender can focus on what Deschutes County Chief Community Justice Officer

Dennis Maloney calls Aearned redemption,@ i.e., that the offender should not Aexpect

forgiveness,@ but should seek to earn it through words (the actual apology letter), as well as

actions (such as restorative community service in which the victim has a voice as to what

type of service the youthful offender should perform, including direct service to the victim

and/or service of the victim=s choice)

In addition to explaining to your victim about your understanding of how you hurt him/her, he/she

may be interested in what you think you think the impact of your offense is on:

Your family.

Your neighborhood/community.

Yourself.

In your apology letter, think about explaining the impact on these three parties to your victim.

Do you have any ideas about how you can make amends to your victim?

Consider the apology letter as one component of the accountability process.

Remember, Aactions speak louder than words.@

Are there things you have done, or can do to improve yourself (or change your behavior)

that the victim might be interested in hearing?

Has the victim provided any information about how you can repair the harm you caused?

If Ayes,@ how can you respond to what he/she said?

Are you truly sorry?

If you are not, we still have work to do!

If you are truly sorry, we will help you put your apology into words.

Offender Apologies Page 3