How To Behave More Assertively Worksheet Template (Page 4 of 10) in pdf

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ASSERT YOURSELF!

"I know you're busy at the moment, John, but I'd like to make a request of you."

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"I recognise that it's difficult to be precise on costs, however, I need a rough

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estimate."

Empathetic assertion is useful in holding you back from over-reacting with aggression as it

causes you to give yourself time to imagine the other person's position and therefore slow

down your response.

It is possible to over-use certain phrases in empathic assertion and it can start to sound

insincere. It can also be used to mask aggression. For example, if someone says "I appreciate

your feelings, but..." then the empathic statement “I appreciate your feelings” is devalued by

the word "but" and the phrase becomes aggression masked as assertion.

Consequence assertion

This is the strongest form of assertion and is seen as a last resort behaviour. It is usually

used in a situation where someone has not been considering the rights of others and you

want to get their behaviour to change without becoming aggressive yourself. In a work

situation it may be used when standard procedures or guidelines are not being followed.

When you use consequence assertion you inform the other person of the consequences for

them of not changing their behaviour. It can easily be seen as threatening and therefore

aggressive. Only use this form of assertion when you have sanctions to apply, and only when

you are prepared to apply them.

As this type of assertion can easily be seen as aggressive you need to be very careful of the

non-verbal signals you use. Keep your voice calm and at an even pitch and volume, keep

good eye contact, and try and keep your body and face relaxed.

Examples of Consequence assertion:

"If you continue to withhold the information, I am left with no option, but to bring in

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the production director. I'd prefer not to."

"I'm not prepared, John, to let any of my staff cooperate with yours on the project,

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unless you give them access to the same facilities that your people have."

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Module 4: How to Behave More Assertively

Page 4

nterventions

• Psychotherapy • Research • Training

How To Behave More Assertively Worksheet Template Page 4