What Is Assertiveness Worksheet Template (Page 3 of 9) in pdf

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Myth 2: “If I am assertive I will get what I want”.

Debunking the myth: Being assertive does not mean that you always get what you want.

In fact being assertive is not a guarantee of any outcome at all. Being assertive is about

expressing yourself in a way that respects both your needs and the needs of others.

Sometimes this means you get what you want, sometimes you won’t get what you want at

all and sometimes you will come to a mutually satisfactory compromise.

Myth 3: “If I am assertive I have to be assertive in every situation”

Debunking the myth: Understanding how to be assertive provides you with the choice of

when to be assertive. It does not mean you have to be assertive in every situation. You may

come to the realisation in certain situations that being assertive is not the most helpful way

to behave. For example, if you are in a bar and someone begins to be very aggressive or

violent, then being assertive may place you at risk as the other person is not being rational.

In this case you may make the decision that a passive approach is the most beneficial.

Learning to be assertive is about providing yourself with a choice!

The Effects of Being Unassertive

The main effect of not being assertive is that it can lead to low self esteem. If we

communicate in a passive manner we are not saying what we really feel or think. This means

we can end up agreeing with and fulfilling other people’s needs or wants rather than our

own. This can result in a lack of purpose, and a feeling of not being in control of our own

lives.

If we never express ourselves openly and conceal our thoughts and feelings this can make us

feel tense, stressed, anxious or resentful. It can also lead to unhealthy and uncomfortable

relationships. We will feel like the people closest to us don’t really know us.

Lack of assertiveness is very common in social phobia. People with social phobia tend to

think that other people are being judgmental and critical about them and will avoid social

situations because of this. If you think you have social phobia please have a look at our social

phobia modules (“Shy no more”) on the website.

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Module 1: What is Assertiveness

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• Psychotherapy • Research • Training

What Is Assertiveness Worksheet Template Page 3