Writing Your Graduate School Application Essay Page 2

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AFTER
My Master’s from Carnegie Mellon University in Chemical Engineering has equipped
Connects past and
me with content knowledge and technical experience on colloidal properties that will
present to future
be a strong asset to the work on soft matter phenomena currently being conducted at
Yale University’s department of Chemical and Environmental Engineering. I’ve focused
the majority of my studies on both supramolecular engineering of colloidal forces and
aggregation dynamics, and electrophoretic deposition of colloidal crystalline arrays for
display technologies. These foci were further honed when I joined Professor Annette
Jacobson’s team to determine the electrophoretic mobility of colloidal contaminants
in water, which is useful in water treatment processing. I plan to extend my research
Shows sense of
pursuits to intrinsic and extrinsic microstructural relaxation rates in protein separation
direction for future
and crystallization processes, work currently being explored by Professor Michael
research
Lowenberg, and my work on colloidal properties will give me a valuable perspective into
that investigation.
2. Elaborate on your qualifications.
Faculty members who read your application essay are experts in your field. They want to read about
your specialized work so they can decide if your skills and research will benefit their department. Don’t
be vague about your work hoping to reach a wider audience. On the other hand, you shouldn’t over-
load your application essay with jargon just to impress the committee. Use only the jargon you need to
tell a specific story about your research.
Emphasize the qualifications you have gained from your experiences; don’t just list the experiences
themselves. Do not just restate your résumé, but elaborate on the qualifications that you have gained
through your accomplishments, giving concrete examples. Remember the axiom: show; don’t tell.
BEFORE
I believe my knowledge base, skills and motivation for research make me a great
Needs to be
contribution to Carnegie Mellon’s electrical and computer engineering research group.
elaborated on
I’m passionate and enthusiastic about ECE techniques. I also have a strong background
Every applicant has
in foundations of engineering, due to my comprehensive undergraduate work, and I’m
mastered the basics
versed in research methodologies, as shown through my multiple collaborative projects.
AFTER
I am an ideal candidate for Carnegie Mellon University’s Electrical and Computer
Specifically discusses
engineering program due to my extensive research on radio transmitter
applicant’s strongest
identification techniques that can identify multiple transmitters and weak interference
qualification, his or her
sources, independent of the DTV reception. More specifically, my current collaborative
current work
publication with Professor Qijun Wu of Xidian University proposes a timely new
transmitter fingerprinting technique that reduces multipath distortion generated
by neighboring transmitters in an SFN, which would enable broadcast authorities and
operators to identify the source of in-band interference in some coverage overlapped
areas. I believe my expertise at this area could supplement the cutting-edge TxID work
being conducted at Carnegie Mellon.

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